Sunday, April 15, 2012

COMMING OUT

My first posting in this blog was not going to about coming out. I have several different blog posts im working on on different subjects but this just smacked me upside the face and demanded to be said.
Let me introduce my self. I'm transgendered, pansexual, polyamorous, into some aspects of BDSM. I'm a member of an often discriminated against subgroup of an already small minority religion. That would be Heathenry, specifically Heathens who work with Loki and other Jotun. I'm a socialist, but i believe in gun rights. Generally all around Multi-Axis Offender. I'm out. I'm proud. I'm loud. I'm ... in the closet.

Let me tell you a little story. I'm on the internet reading a discussion about transgender inclusion in the GLBT community and bigotry some within the community direct at the transgendered or other subsets. There was a responder in the comments who was thanking the original poster for standing with the transgendered members of the community. Among other aspects of his identity he lists furry. Now maybe it's the fact that the discussion had nothing to do with be furry, and maybe its the way he just included it as part of his identity there with out fear. What ever specific it was, when i got to the word furry it just kind of smacked in the face and yelled "HEY!" at me. You see, I've never once stated publicly that I'm furry. I worried that people would think i was weird. Ludicrous right? I mean with everything I listed above i shouldn't even be worried at that point. Anyone who hates people for being different would have already died of a hategasm. Despite that I was worried what people would think. Worried that people would think of unflattering stereotypes. Some of it may have been some internalized bigotry against furries. But none of these are things i should allow to stop me from acknowledging an aspect of myself.

So, I'M FURRY! I have a bit of a feline aspect. I purr during certain ... well the specifics aren't important. The important thing is that I'm not a stereotype. I'm a complex individual with many different aspects to my identity. It's important that i don't let fear and other people dictate who i am.

This also demonstrates why it's important for members of marginalized communities to be publicly visible. Seeing other members of the community being out might help them with aspects of themselves that they are dealing with. It also helps others see that members of the community in question aren't "weirdos" or scary or dangerous. Visibility helps break down prejudice and open the door to acceptance.

I feel it's even more important for me to be out because I'm someone who is working toward being a Pagan minister, and someone who tries to do the work if I'm the only one available. If I'm in the closet about something like being furry or anything I listed earlier, then I'm failing those who I should be ministering to. I marginalize them by decreasing visibility.
I fail because by my silence I imply to them that they should be silent, fearful, ashamed and marginalized.

So I'm OUT! I'm PROUD! I'm transgendered, pansesxual, palyamorous, BDSM, Pagan/Heathen/Heretic, socialist, goth, and FURRY!. I refused to be ashamed or silent.

1 comment:

  1. Kudos, total. :) Bi, Polytheist Energist (Eclectic Pagan), Otherkin (not a label I would use, but accurate?), and recently-discovered BDSM and Poly.

    I despise Silence; learning to remember we must be among those who do not -remain- Silent when speaking freely would allow the Inner to reflect Out... it's a challenge, to be sure.

    I do not like Feeling ashamed of my proclivities, but I am not really ashamed. It's that others expect differently of me, and I am surprised by their surprise when they do not... Especially when some are people who say they love me for who I am or will always support me. There is neither of this when the reply - to questions they ask, no less - is "That makes me uncomfortable."

    Why do I -care- if you are comfortable with my choices? That's not the point for why I choose them, nor do I "make" you do or feel anything, nor should they offend you, much less offend you due to your curiosity. If asked directly, I'm not going to lie to "make" you feel better.

    That isn't to say I ever set out to offend you in the first place, either. But if you can ask a Question, then you deserve the Answer. Law od Return, and all... But the answers you receive offend you? Grow up.

    Pardon my semi-rant; I think I make my point, though. And yours? Inspirational. Thank you for your words.

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